My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
birth control should be required to get into college
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
