He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
