How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
