at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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