You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
