This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
