I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
