I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
