3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
