The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize