We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
