your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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