also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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