I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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