im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
