I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
