Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i drank out of a bidet.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
