the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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