We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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