I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
