I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
