i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Do you have feelings for this penis?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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