can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
