That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
