This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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