i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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