My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
