Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
