I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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