If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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