bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
