your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
