Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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