420 ftw
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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