What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
