I'd wear matching sweaters with you
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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