I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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