I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
