He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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