is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
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