How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
