I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
