Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
