Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
