please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Boobs are out for the taking
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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