You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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