I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize