Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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