She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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