Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
