she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
